Whose Timing?

I hate the Sound of Music, so the Phil and Fi story, for that reason alone, is not going to start at the very beginning. A beginning, but not the beginning, will be our very good place to start.

After six years of "dating", it was sweet relief that in March of this year, I could finally ask Fi to marry me. After spending so long being a couple with no rights to any sort of permanence, making it official was something I'd been waiting to do for at least the last three years.

Those six years may be a later blog post, but for now I think it best to fill in gap between NYE 2011, and that bridge in Central Park, New York.

You see, we've known for a while that the only thing stopping us getting married is me being away, finishing my degree. Summer 2013's been in our heads for a while now. But, we'd been entertaining the fanciful idea that summer 2012 could be on the cards. As new year rolled around, and the necessary plans hadn't fallen into place, the idea became more and more fanciful.

I had so wanted to have been able to hug Fi at New Year and tell her that this was our year, that our wedding date was written in the same diary I would start using the following morning, but this wasn't to be.

What I did know, however, was that it was this calendar year that would contain the date of our engagement, and it was this fact that I revealed to her that evening. I'm not sure she was surprised - not much is a surprise with us any more! 

The question was when. After such a long relationship, I wanted to avoid too long an engagement - and so my thinking was for the tail-end of the year, perhaps Bonfire Night, which is one of our favourite nights of the year. Stubbornly, I disregarded all other options.

Fortunately, several people intervened in my thinking, and I write this post six months into a fifteen-and-a-half month engagement.

It's more normal for Christians to have short engagements - what's the point in hanging around if you know? Also, we're impatient! I want to live with Fi now! But, these last few months have taught me a lot about God's timing, and a lot about mine.

Much of our relationship has been a lesson in letting go, and leaving things up to God. Timing is a big one - as much as I'd love to be in control, I'm just not. Me going against my stubborn will, and proposing when I did, was a way in which I handed the reins over to God.

After all, our relationship is all about him, so he should be in charge, right?

Having a longer engagement than we'd initially wanted has not only helped practically (most prep has already been done this summer!), but it's helped emotionally too! I've been able to appreciate this new period in our relationship. It feels differently the same, which is a confusing phrase I'll blog about later.

To be continued...