Coffee & Confessions: Part 1

Funnily enough - Fi sent me a text this morning which said that, had we we stuck to our "original plan", then we still wouldn't be engaged, even now. Stubbornly, our plan was to have as short an engagement as possible, and then to marry immediately upon my graduation.

Only one of those is now true.

Both might have still been true, if Mark hadn't been free for coffee when I asked him in late February...

At that point, I'd felt something for weeks that the upcoming Uni trip to New York might mean something significant for me and Fi, who was tagging along with me and my course mates. God had been prodding me - through conversations with friends, through prayer, through coincidence... All sorts of ways. But did I listen? Nah.

I'm not particularly gifted at recognising when God speaks - in fact it's only now, looking back at pre-New York, that I can clearly recognise God at work.

With less than a week to go, my head was a mess - I had no idea what I should do about the contrasting things I was thinking and hearing. I needed to chat things through with a friend... and a coffee, of course. I confessed my stubborn engagement plan to him...

"I'll say what I often say to people" he said to me, "you could be dead tomorrow." I nearly choked on my Caramel Macchiato. Cheers, mate.

Of course, he wasn't wrong! I could have been! And I guess what he was saying is that, seeing as me and Fi have been wanting to get married for a couple of years already, why not make the first part of that commitment now. We couldn't take control of the timing of or marriage, but we could let each other know our feelings through the commitment of engagement now.

That was one part of the situation we could take control of - a sort of "live for the moment" philosophy.

I'm so thankful for Mark, and the way God used him in that situation. He helped my see that handing things over to God was the safest place for them to be, and since doing that I've had such peace! Our relationship feels so secure, now that we've made tangible steps to obey God and his timing.

Of course, this isn't something which I'd encourage in everyone. Much of the Phil and Fi story is influenced by the fact that we've been together six-and-a-half years, and I certainly wouldn't say that proposing to a girl is the only way you can find security. No, true security comes when you're both wanting the same things from the relationship, and that those things are things God wants too.I truly believe that this is the conclusion God wanted me to come to, and this has been proven by the wonderful blessing this summer's wedding planning has been (flower arrangements aside).

But the principle that can be taken from this story is that God's timing is best (I seem to be repeating that a lot at the moment - perhaps I'm reminding myself!). Committing relationships to God is the safest place for them - He won't let you down.

There's more I could say here - but I'll save it for with my next coffee.