The first ring

We've all had to make a phone-call we didn't particularly want to. Personally, I don't like talking to people on the phone - I much prefer face-to-face interaction, so as to properly engage with someone. This makes long-distance relationships difficult... But this blog post isn't about that.

There's something about phone-calls which make me very self-aware. I feel much more nervous before a phone-call than before I get up in front of people on a stage, or to host a presentation. I'm not sure why this is exactly - but in the case of all the important phone-calls in my life I've always done them with a pen and paper by my side... And a series of notes.

I doubt many readers have had to make a phone-call to their girlfriend's Dad, to ask his blessing for you to propose to his daughter. Boy, I wish I still had the notes from that phone-call! They'd have made horrific and ridiculous reading!

I've always wanted to do it that way - asking permission, I mean. I guess it comes partly from my beliefs in male headship in the family (a potential future blog-post?!), and partly out of a respect for Fi's parents and the Christian family they fashioned -  one which I'm sure Fi will agree she has been blessed to be a part of.

There's a beautiful picture in the wedding service, where the father of the bride "gives away" his daughter to the groom. It shows that the primary responsibility for the bride's well-being no longer lies with the father, but with the groom. I felt, therefore, that it was imperative that I make that call.

As I say, I was nervous - what if he said no? What if he's never really liked me? What would our next move be then? (All questions which say much about me and my character, and nothing at all about his!) I'd never planned to do this by phone by the way, but our flight to New York was in 5 days, and I had no time to get to Leyland and back in that time!

I left my coffee date with Mark, and went home to make the call. He assured me he was praying. I did too, then dialled the digits. Never before has a phone ringing caused me so much stress...

What a brilliant phone-call! Done in under 5 minutes would you believe! (Lengthier conversations were saved for post-NY). If I could remember exactly what was said then I would share, but most of it was a blur. What's important is that God turned all my worries about making that step into one of the most weird and wonderful evenings of my life. I felt now that I should ring my parents. Typically, they were halfway out the door when I rang ("We can't really chat - can you ring later??"), but their elation told me exactly how they felt about my news.

Sharing this experience with all four of the parentals was lovely for several reasons.

First, I knew had a family of people praying for us from a week before I even proposed. To be able to share this exciting news with older Christians, and have their support, guidance and wisdom was a blessing then, and continues to be now as we plan our lives. To have four brilliant Christian role-models surrounding us as we make plans is something which I am massively grateful for.

We're aware that we're lucky in this area - but a brief word for those couples without strong parental examples to follow... You see, the only reason our parents are so brilliant in these areas are because they follow Jesus' example - an example that's free for all to follow! Don't be discouraged through lack of good example; our influence should come first from Jesus, and second from those around us.

Secondly, we had a secret! For the best part of a week, the only people who knew about this were me and Mark and the four parents. For once in the relationship, I'd taken a giant step ahead; now I just had to convince Fi that I WASN'T going to propose in New York.